My name is Evan, and I am a funeral director at a busy funeral home in the Midwestern United States. I have found that many loved ones want to personalize the funeral experience, but they simply don't know how. I am going to outline some ways that you can make a funeral unique to the person you are celebrating. From dramatic readings to favorite music to decorated caskets, the only limit is your imagination when it comes to planning the perfect funeral. I hope your mind will be open to the possibilities the next time you are in the unfortunate situation of having to plan a funeral.
Add Unique Touches to a Funeral
3 Tips For Preparing Your Child For A Loved One's Funeral
Christina Clarke
Losing a loved one is never easy, but loss can be especially difficult and confusing for young children. Deciding to include your children in the funeral or memorial for a loved one is a personal choice, but it can be the best decision as long as it's handled in a thoughtful and deliberate way. Your child will probably feel more included and have a way to start processing their grief if they go to the funeral, but you should take steps ahead of time to make sure they are emotionally prepared:
Make Sure Your Child Feels Emotionally Supported
Before, during, and after the funeral, it is important to make a huge point to emotionally support your child. Explain that it's normal to feel sad or confused when someone we love dies, and that they can cry, talk about their loved one, share memories, or look at photos. If they need to take breaks from the heaviness of grief to just play and laugh, that's okay too. If your child was very close to the person who died, it is a great idea to find a grief counselor who works specifically with young children.
Explain What Happens at a Funeral
The funeral will be much less intimidating if your child knows what to expect. Tell them that the funeral is a time to remember your loved one and talk about how important they were and how much they will be missed. You may want to explain that a funeral allows everyone to be together, to share their sadness, and help each other feel less sad and alone. Describe the events that will happen at the funeral, including that songs and hymns will be sung, stories will be told, and anything that is specific to your culture or religion.
Include But Don't Force Them
The ritual and community aspects of a funeral can help your child process their loss and gain comfort from the rest of their family. It also helps them feel included at a time when they may be afraid of more loss or abandonment. For these reasons, it is usually a good idea to invite your child to the funeral and encourage them to come.
If your child expresses a strong inclination to avoid the funeral even after talking about it, however, it's best not to force the issue. Instead, set aside time for the child to have their own ceremony, perhaps by writing a letter to their deceased love one, or simply dedicating an hour or so to visiting one of their favorite places and talking about them.
By following these steps, you will help ensure your child is able to make sense of the funeral, gain some emotional closure from it, and not feel scared or overwhelmed by the funeral or memorial ceremony.
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