My name is Evan, and I am a funeral director at a busy funeral home in the Midwestern United States. I have found that many loved ones want to personalize the funeral experience, but they simply don't know how. I am going to outline some ways that you can make a funeral unique to the person you are celebrating. From dramatic readings to favorite music to decorated caskets, the only limit is your imagination when it comes to planning the perfect funeral. I hope your mind will be open to the possibilities the next time you are in the unfortunate situation of having to plan a funeral.
Add Unique Touches to a Funeral
When a Young Child Loses a Parent: Funeral Ideas & Alternatives
Christina Clarke
According to a survey of children who lost their parents at a young age, none of the children who attended their parents' funerals had any regrets, but three-quarters of those who did not attend their parent's funeral, regretted not going. Based on this data, young children may benefit from attending a parent's funeral, but if you are planning the funeral and have misgivings about their attendance, you may want to consider a few child-friendly alternatives to funerals.
1. Small gathering to share memories about the parent
A child who loses his or her parent needs some time to commune with others as they remember his or her parent and honor the deceased. Instead of a funeral or in addition to a funeral, consider having a time where everyone can share memories of the deceased. Children need to talk about their lost parents; it helps them navigate through the process of grief.
You can plan this "sharing" service so that is is similar to a traditional wake, or you can create a service that is just the right size for the grieving child. Plan a time when a half a dozen or so close family members can gather to share stories of the lost parent.
Instead of holding this event once, consider gathering periodically to tell stories and honor the lost parent as the child gets older and craves those memories.
2. A delayed service
If the child is really too young to handle a funeral service, if the child is too distraught or if the child refuses to attend the original funeral and then regrets that decision, you can have a delayed service or a "repeat" service. If you need to, it is okay to have more than one service. A delayed funeral service can be anything from a small service in a chapel to a gathering in a home or a park.
3. Funeral with a special setting
If you have young children who have lost a parent and you feel that a church funeral or a funeral in a funeral home may be over their heads or less meaningful to them, you may want to consider holding a funeral in an alternative location.
You can have funerals at parks, along a favorite hiking trail or in the woods—places that remind the child of the parent may hold the most significance. If you are also disposing of ashes at this ceremony, you can hold the ceremony where you are releasing the ashes. The symbolism of an event like that can help a child to feel as if he or she is really able to say goodbye.
Learn more about what appropriate changes and alternatives you can make by consulting expert resources like Affordable Burial & Cremation.
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